Dog Story

Until one has loved an animal, part of one’s soul remains un-awakened
- Anatole France

I said no for eighteen years. I was the mother of two active boys and the wife of a driven husband. There were scores of ballgames, dozens of class trips, hours of homework. When they asked, over and over and over again, if we could get a dog, I said no. I didn’t feel I could take care of one more being. Then, suddenly it seems, they no longer came to crawl into bed with us when there was a thunder storm. They got part time jobs, took the SAT’s, learned to drive. They became more independent. I was surprised to find I missed taking care of a little one. The next time they asked for a dog, I said yes.  I bought some books about dog training. How hard could it be?

We went to North Shore Animal League and saw a cute black lab mix. He was small and needy-looking and I was ready to take him home, but my husband, Dan, suggested we stop at a pet store before making a final decision. I didn’t want to support the puppy mill trade, but agreed to go to satisfy Dan. What I didn’t know is that Dan and our son, Justin, had seen a puppy at the pet shop the night before. They had a plan.

We walked into Shake-a-Paw in Hicksville. The store smelled of excrement, cedar shavings, and disinfectant. The shrill bark of dozens of puppies clamoring for attention pierced our ears. They were all in a makeshift corral, furry babies walking clumsily on eight-week-old legs. Some were wrestling like bear cubs, playfully biting and tumbling. Others pleaded for our attention as though they knew we held the promise of love and care. 

Dan called out to me, “Honey, come look at this one.”

He was in a small crate by himself, a yellow Labrador retriever puppy, a fur ball with soulful eyes and floppy ears. There’s a reason advertisers use yellow lab pups to sell products. He was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. “Wanna hold him?” asked Dan.

The cubicle could fit only one of us. My husband and sons encouraged me to go in. The salesperson brought two lab pups, a black and a chocolate, into the cubicle. The black one barked constantly, the chocolate kept jumping, scratching my bare legs with sharp little claws. She handed me the yellow one. He looked at me with sad eyes and settled quietly against my chest. I fell in love. There was no way I was going home without him. I looked at Dan without saying a word and he understood. “I knew she’d fall in love with him,” Dan said to Justin smiling victoriously. We named him Kato.

By the time we filled out the paperwork, purchased the necessary paraphernalia, and set it up at home, it was late and we were all exhausted. We placed Kato into his crate in the family room and went upstairs to bed. 

Kato cried all night. No one got any sleep. When we took him into the yard he lay down on the grass looking miserable. When we touched him, he tried to bite us with his sharp puppy teeth. He was uninterested in the toys we bought him preferring instead to tear at the perennials we had planted, pulling until he had them out by the roots, and then shaking them like mad. Whenever we put him back in the crate, he cried. With the boys almost grown, life had begun to get easier. Now, with this little monster living with us, we had no peace day or night. We were exhausted.

Weeks passed. None of the training techniques in the books worked. When we tried to teach him how to walk on a lead, he’d grab the leash in his mouth and play tug-of-war. Even dousing the leash in hot sauce didn’t deter him. He chewed on furniture and pulled up loops of carpeting. He bit us. I developed tightness in my chest. Dan would have nightmares about a lion living in our home. We had gone through major life changes, raised two children, faced the many challenges of family life and had never been this stressed out.

Dan came home one day and said, “I spoke to Jim at work. He already owns a lab. He said he’d be willing to take Kato.” Dan thought I’d be relieved. I was shocked and angry. We weren’t quitters.

“No way! We are not failing at this. I’m going to call a professional trainer. “

The first trainer was a burly man with a gruff voice. “Oh, this is a tough guy. Alpha male. Not gonna be easy.” His training technique consisted of placing Kato on a leash and yanking it roughly to get Kato to obey commands. Kato looked frightened. His eyes pleaded for help.

“Surely there must be a gentler way to do this,” I said.

The trainer sneered and said, “Well, you could try to hug and kiss him into it.” I couldn’t get him out the door fast enough.

The second trainer also identified Kato as an alpha male. She went over basic commands with us and suggested rewarding good behavior with treats, but we had already tried those techniques.

I was beside myself. I didn’t want to fail and I loved Kato despite his bad behavior, but I thought we might have to take Jim up on his offer. Then a friend told me about a television show called The Dog Whisperer starring Cesar Millan. His tagline is I rehabilitate dogs. I train people.

Dan and I became disciples. We DVR’d the show and created Dog Whisperer marathons. For weeks, our kids saw only the backs of our heads as we sat in an oversized chair together watching episode after episode. What Cesar said made sense to us. We needed to understand how a dog thinks. Cesar talked about the importance of rules, boundaries, and limitations which sounded like good parenting. He also expressed the importance of giving the dog three things in exactly this order: exercise, discipline, and affection. According to Cesar, it all begins with the relationships we form with our dogs during walks. We began to use Cesar’s techniques.

Kato’s behavior improved rapidly. We were empowered by our new dog training skills. It was a relief to know we could make this work after all. Within a few weeks, he obeyed basic commands, walked well on the lead, and stopped biting. He still, however, exhibited some alpha male quirks. 

One afternoon, I was in the yard with Kato when Dan came home. In typical alpha male fashion, Kato stayed put and waited for Dan to come and greet him. Dan didn’t even look at him. Kato was clearly put off by this. He looked at Dan and raised his chin as if to say, “You must acknowledge me.” Dan stood perfectly still and continued to ignore him. I watched in silence as Kato crawled slowly toward Dan, his belly almost touching the ground. When he got there, he lay at Dan’s feet, and put his head down.

“Congratulations”, I said to Dan. “You are now the alpha male.”

©2013 Rita Maniscalco All rights reserved.