#8 GENEROSITY and #9 SERVICE: Reaching your goal isn't just about you

#8 GENEROSITY: 60 Minutes recently aired an episode in which child psychologists essentially proved that by age 12 or so, the human inclination is toward generosity. Children of various ages were given two piles of chips which they could trade in for prizes. They had the choice to keep the larger pile for themselves, or give it away to an unknown child not present. Very young children kept more chips for themselves. Children at about 8-10 years of age made certain the chips were divided equally. At around age 12, most children shifted from keeping more for themselves, to giving more to the other child. By that tender age, they had already learned that generosity is life-enriching. 

Tight-fistedness blocks the natural flow of abundance in the universe. 

Generosity begets generosity. This includes generosity of spirit which means not only sharing time and treasures, but giving the benefit of the doubt, and being more tolerant, forgiving and accepting of others. In being generous toward others, one becomes more generous with oneself. 

Cultivate generosity in all aspects of your life, especially as it pertains to achieving your goal. You may need education, training, coaching, legal or financial advice, equipment, or something else. How is investing in your goal a measure of generosity? It’s giving of yourself to yourself so that you may be in a better position to give to others. No matter what your goal is, if it makes you healthier, happier, stronger, more educated, more marketable, or if it leads to better use of your natural gifts, the new improved version of yourself will be in a better position to give to the world. Investing in your own success says that you believe in yourself and your goal, and that you’re open to the natural flow of abundance.

#9 COME FROM A PLACE OF SERVICE: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU – In Way of Success # 2, Motivation, What’s your WHY? I talked about taking a look at the big picture of your life and asking yourself what will motivate you to reach your goal? There’s yet a bigger picture: What will achieving your goal contribute to the universe? It doesn’t matter whether you are a brain surgeon or a trash collector, what you do every day contributes to society. How you show up every day impacts the people around you. How you impact them has an effect on how they impact others. 

You may find that it’s much easier to stay motivated when you realize whatever you do is not just about you. Always strive to come from a place of service. Seek to serve others to the best of your ability. Consistently take continuing education courses and additional training to become better and better at what you do so that you can offer more value to others. If what you do is very physical, you can improve your fitness level. If you feel like your natural gifts are being wasted in your current career, consider making a career change.

 

If your goal is very personal, like weight loss, know that as you become more fit, you will have more energy to do what you do. Your increased energy, confidence, and level of well-being will have a positive impact on those around you.

Everything matters. YOU matter. Reaching your goal isn’t just about you.

#7 LOSE the FEAR FACTOR: CHOOSE TRUST

What are you afraid of? It’s important to know. For some it’s failure. If you’ve always been a high achiever and now you are striking out into uncharted territory where the outcome seems uncertain, you may be fearful. If you’ve had a couple of failures, you may fear failing again.  Some fear success: Who will I become if I succeed? What will happen to my relationships? Will my new-found success take so much of my time that I will need to neglect my loved ones to remain successful?  What will my life look like once I succeed?

It’s important to understand this: Fear and trust cannot co-exist. If you really trust yourself and trust the process, the fear will greatly diminish. Think of other successes you’ve had. If you’ve had some failures, congratulations! It means you ventured out of your comfort zone and had the guts to try something. Remember how you bounced back. Think about the lessons you learned from those failures which you couldn’t have learned any other way. Think about the value you have to offer. Think about the people who love you. Think about those who admire and respect you. Think about the fact that you are taking this step by step in a way that you can manage and feel comfortable. You get to define success. Success is whatever you need it to be to love your life and feel successful. It isn’t just about income. It may include maintaining healthy relationships. It may include ensuring time for your own health and fitness.

It’s OK to feel fear. If the goal doesn’t scare you a bit, it’s probably not worth achieving. But don’t let the fear keep you stuck. Feel the fear and go for the goal anyway. There’s no doubt that your life story has included many 
interesting twists and turns, joys and concerns, victories and, hopefully, some failures. The journey toward this goal will be likewise. 

Trust yourself. Put your seat belt on and enjoy the ride!

#5 THOUGHT MANAGEMENT and #6 ENERGY MANAGEMENT

#5 Thought Management:

One of the greatest insights in human history has been that our thoughts have a direct impact on our attitudes, and our attitudes affect our outcomes.

The late Stephen Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, shared a powerful example. He thought of his son as lazy and unmotivated. He couldn’t stand his messy room and his choice of music.  Thinking about having any interaction with his son made him tense. He would have such thoughts about his son over and over again. Stephen was upset about the negative feelings he had toward his son. So one day, Stephen decided to make a list of all the things he appreciated about his son. He reminded himself that his son was bright and had a good sense of humor. He thought about good times they’d had together and brought up pleasant memories of when his son was a child. Soon he was able to approach his son with warmth and love instead of tension and disapproval. Choosing to think different thoughts changed his relationship with his son.

As you strive to reach your goal, be aware that you have the power to control your thoughts at all times. Your thoughts create your reality. Choose them wisely.

#6 ENERGY MANAGEMENT: I cannot over-emphasize the importance of this step. Mastering this will not only impact your results with this particular goal, it will be life-changing: Be vigilant regarding the energies you let in and the energies you put out. To the degree that it is possible, surround yourself with people and information that energizes you and avoid those which deplete you. Turn off the radio and tv, put down the ipad and cell phone, and create a space to listen to your own thoughts and inner wisdom. Limit the upsetting daily news and other damaging energy you take in via print, television and internet. Stay away from, or at least limit time spent around, people who drain your energy. Read and listen to positive messages.  Strive to remain positive regardless of what is going on around you. Before you speak or act, ask yourself, “Will this add to the problem, or contribute to a solution?”  Don’t participate in gossip, nor speak ill of others. Doing so says much more about you than it does about them.

The energy you put out into the universe is the energy you will attract. Make sure it’s positive.